ZEUS: “I guess we all learned a valuable lesson, except for me, I wasn’t paying attention and was asleep for most of the time”
POSEIDON: “do you want salt with your answer”
HERA: “just found out the world doesn’t revolve around me. Shocked & upset”
ATHENA: “my kink is when people admit I’m right”
APOLLO: “i’m a brat??? okay and??? I know??? next argument???”
ARTEMIS: “i want that dog” “you want every dog”
APHRODITE: “hey just wanted to let you know, I’m beautiful, thank you and goodnight”
HERMES: “you’re kind of annoying” “kind of? kind of?? excuse me. excuse you. I am fully annoying. i am very annoying. there’s nothing half-assed half-hearted “kind of” about it”
HADES: “occupation: the family disappointment”
ARES: “sure, I made mistakes when I was younger. But now that I’m older I’ve learned how to make different, often far more serious mistakes”
DIONYSUS: “i’m dropping hints that I’m not fine”
HESTIA: “there’s so much caffeine running through my body right now. It’s like having a cockfight with my anxiety”
DEMETER: “im sick of being a person. im going go into the woods lay down in the dirt and become a geological feature. and none of you are powerful enough to stop me”
IRIS: “defending myself: oh yeah?? well i got five words for you buddy: please be nice to me”
EOS: “have you ever met someone that was sunshine in human form”
HEBE: “what the fuckaroni”
HEPHAESTUS: “you can’t offend me. I lack emotion”
HEKATE: “it’s only forbidden if you’re a fucking coward”